30 Oct

Demons. That can be the only explanation.

About an hour ago I got out of the cinema after watching Skyfall. But enough about that good movie, after coming out I heard the news.

Disney bought Lucasfilm, and are making a 7th (or rather 8th, but we ignore the animated one for more reasons we ignore the other 3) Star Wars movie.

Naturally I assumed I was being pranked. I was like, “That’s ridiculous! Why would they make another… Star… Wars… um…”

I was waiting in line for my cod bite supper when it sunk in. I was all:

But then… it sunk in. I felt kind of like this:

” I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened”

And then… then I don’t know what happened.

I guess Hallow’een is when nightmares come true.

I guess its when terrifying things get born, and the great stories of our youth are torn asunder.

I guess its when we should just throw away our lightsabers and x-wings and just grow up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nah.
I’ll just blot this from my memory and make sure my children never hear of such nonsense as a 7th star wars film. Then toss them their sabres and go out to garden and pretend to be force choked by a tiny little Vader.

May the force be with you… Always.

Dave out.

(likely out cold, sleep beckons.)

29 Oct

This wasn’t Sparta, it was, however, MADness.

Now that I finally got the 300 joke out of the way, I’m now awake enough to type another awesome* blog.

So, the last few days have been… an experience. A good one, though I appear to be missing several decibels. Have you seen them? They’re small and fit in your ear. They were last seen running away from the ridiculous amount of bass I could hear from the massive speakers I spent a good amount of time standing beside, and been replaced by a slight ringing. My ears are probably the main concern after the last few days, other than the damage to my psyche from something I still struggle to talk about without laughing so hard I cry.

MAD weekend is what brought about this ridiculous scenario where I lack hearing and or the ability to talk about an un-named amateur hip-hop dancer, where I spent time either:

  1. With a camera, beside the stage, in front of a speaker
  2. In a hall, waiting for people to turn up so I could sleep on an uncomfortable sofa
  3. Giving a table quiz, 3 times and losing my voice
  4. Otherwise teching. I’ve made it a verb now.
  5. Avoiding my fan club. That’s right, I have a fan club. They’re all taller than me, and may be slightly crazy. The moment they discover this blog will be a problem.
  6. Watching one of the MAD crew shamelessly flirt with half the girls on crew. It was weird.

Thus, I am now going back to work tomorrow, and TESTING. Sometimes I wonder if I am being tested, if I’m a psychological experiment to see how maddening YouTube is. However, then the mushroom at the other end of the phone tells me that if I can watch more videos, I get to eat him, so I KEEP TESTING. If you want to know what I do, and haven’t read the blog where I explained it, it is here.

Speaking of YouTube, I’m now gonna do a semi-regular slot on good videos available,

This is the first episode in a pretty good web series:

Its a baby with a gun!

And now its a baby panda. Without a gun. Don’t give baby pandas guns. That’s just asking for trouble.

Lastly, the magic number today is now 310. Still getting bigger. A similarly related number (to some people, to me, its irrelevant) is 363. So, that’s that.

Dave out.

 *awesome according to several readers. Really. They told me. In person.

20 Oct

Weirdest thing that happened this week. And maybe other things too.

So, the other day I was in the Mace close to my work at lunch when someone beside me asks “hi, do you go to Bloomfield Presbyterian?”
To which I appropriately respond “yeah…?”
“wanna do a bible reading  some Sunday?”
“Um… OK?”
“Great!”
I turn to pick up a wispa, and hes gone, just as mysteriously as he appeared.

Right.

Another weird thing that happened is, for some strange reason, work decided to go out for lunch on Wednesday to a restaurant, in UU called The Academy. It was… different. We weren’t expecting this. Things were strange from the moment we walked in. Go there, and you’ll see. Food’s good though.

I’ll be partaking in MAD this coming weekend, I should be on cameras on main stage, and I’ll hopefully get the opportunity to annoy some people with said camera 😛 I’ll also be Comparé at the table quiz on Saturday afternoon. Some of you may already know some of the answers, however, I trust the ridiculous riddles I can come up with help.

Magical number is 301 today. Its a good number. Please, someone, work out why. It has significance. You just need to work it out.

In a more geeky aspect to the world, the end of this month has the 3 biggest tech companies announcing new products (again) with google phones and probably another tablet, a smaller, but still probably pointlessly too big ipad from apple (there’s no point shrinking down your tablet if it still won’t fit in a reasonably large pocket), and quite possibly the most useful 10″ tablets from Microsoft. The most interesting thing though is the ludicrous resolutions HTC and Sharp have developed, full HD 5 inch screens… yet why can’t we find QuadHD 20″ screens? Gah.

There’s also Windows 8, which should be a relatively cheap upgrade, though I would say its a try before you buy thing.

And finally, a really important subject for you to discuss: How does that guys guitar rotate like that in Back To the Future 3? Seriously, why would you mount a guitar on a rotating thing like that? And Marty never looks Seamus in the eye correctly.

Dave Out.

Well, I’m still at home, but I’m gonna stop typing now.

14 Oct

It’s my birthday and I’ll listen to Radio 4 if I want to.

That’s right, I listen to Radio 4 now. I’m old. 26 years old in fact.

And I’m OK with that.

So what does this mean now?

Jack all. Except I won’t understand when people talk about the top 40, and understand politics better.

Anyway, this week in work is going to be a living nightmare, so lets talk about other things! The last time I watched someone play FIFA was 2007. I watched someone play it again yesterday. It hasn’t changed. Normal games would get DLC for this kind of incremental change, not 5 £45 new games.

Keeping with the gaming talk, except onto a decent franchise that doesn’t rip off its customers, play The Walking Dead. Its not a normal game, more like a make-your-own-adventure book, and its great. I’ve had games make me jump, but this got me pretty close to tears at one point. The story follows the zombie apocalypse, like the TV show, but a guy running with a little girl he found in a treehouse, and trying to look after her. They come across a family, parents and a 10 year old son, and you spend several game hours with them, building a friendship with the father, and leaning on the mother as she was one of the most reasonable, sane people in the group. Then, the son gets bit while running from one of their ‘safe’ houses. The boy is dying, but everyone knows he will turn into a zombie when he dies. The mother and father make the hard decision that they have to shoot him, as they don’t want him coming back as a zombie. When its clear the boy is about to die, you watch as they argue about which of them should shoot him. You convince them that either the mother or father should do it, then watch as they take the boy into the wood so the little girl with you doesn’t see. You hear a shot, but something isn’t right. The father is screaming to his wife. Your character runs to see what was happening. The mother is lying on the ground, with a pistol in her hand and her brains blown out. She’d shot herself, unable to bear the sight of her son dying. Your job is then to console the grieving husband and make sure the son doesn’t come back. You have the choice to take the gun, or let the distraught father do it. It’s hard to pull that trigger. And then you have to console a grieving father for the rest of the game. Its more fun than it sounds.

On to a lighter note! Looper is a good movie! Though Joseph Gordon Levitts eyebrows confused me. It was like they digitally skewed his face to make him look like Bruce Willis, though I’m pretty certain they didn’t.

Taken 2 is not that great. It needed to be a 15, not a movie where people died when Liam Neesan touched them. He’s not Chuck Norris. Also, the pistol I have for Airsoft is the same as his in the first half of the movie. And my spell checker doesn’t recognize Movie… aaand now it does. Though it doesn’t look right now…

Speaking of airsoft, Its fun. Do it. But bring gloves. And hopefully the 3 massive welts from yesterday on my forehead will have faded by now (I don’t wear forehead protection. It’s not smart). In a nutshell its realistic looking firearms powered by gas or motors, firing pellets at about 300 feet per second. Its just enough to hurt, maybe bruise, maybe break skin, definitely break your eyeball, but if you’re wearing loose layers and the face protection, you’re fine. It’s like Call of Duty where you can actually inflict real pain on annoying people.

What else am I doing now I’m 26? Looking suspicious. Its a life plan.

No one knows what the numbers meant (which I forgot to put in the last 2 posts…) so, here it is again, 295! 295. Thats right. 295. Yup.

Dave – One day older than 25.

P.S. Thanks to all you lovely people for the birthday messages.

P.P.S. I wrote this yesterday. If I broke present/past/future/grammatical tense then I apologize.